The Ordinary Botox Serum: How My Face Froze, and I Accidentally Started a Trend

It all started with a minor identity crisis and a generous bottle of wine. There I was, scrolling through Instagram, drowning in the sea of flawless faces, perfectly contoured cheekbones, and smooth, wrinkle-free foreheads. I convinced myself that *everyone* I knew had either discovered the Fountain of Youth or had a standing Botox appointment.

I wasn’t ready for needles yet (not that I'm afraid... but yes, totally afraid). So, like any sensible adult who makes poor choices after midnight, I googled "Botox alternatives." That's when I stumbled upon it: *The Ordinary Botox Serum*. The name was too perfect. Simple, straightforward, almost like it was invented for me—a person who loves low effort, instant results, and avoids painful decisions at all costs.

The Serum Arrives: A New Beginning (or So I Thought)

Two days later, a nondescript package arrived at my doorstep. It was here: my gateway to eternal youth, or at least a minor reduction in fine lines. The box didn’t scream “luxury” or “scientifically engineered to erase your insecurities.” It whispered, “This could work… maybe?”

I eagerly unscrewed the cap and applied a few drops to my forehead, under my eyes, and on that annoying crease between my brows that gets deeper every time I remember my student loans. The serum was cooling and nice. I felt hopeful. I had no idea what was coming next.

Day One: Smooth as a Baby’s… Forehead?

The first day, I looked in the mirror and did a double-take. My forehead looked smoother. Not like “I just got injected by a top Beverly Hills dermatologist” smooth, but there was *something*. I felt a rush of accomplishment that rivaled the time I bought a yoga mat and pretended to be someone who stretches regularly.

But then I tried to raise my eyebrows.

Nothing happened.

No matter how hard I tried to arch them in a sarcastic "are you serious?" expression, they stayed in place. Frozen. Like Elsa’s castle. Or that half-eaten popsicle in the back of your freezer from three summers ago. 

Did I accidentally Botox myself?

Day Two: Emoji Face in Real Life

Waking up on Day Two, I discovered that my entire forehead was completely devoid of movement. Not a twitch, not a furrow, not even a glimmer of surprise. If my boss had handed me a pink slip that day, I would have responded with the same frozen half-smile I gave to the barista when they misspelled my name *for the 57th time*.

I realized I had become a human emoji—specifically, the neutral face one. My reflection looked back at me, but my emotional range had evaporated like the dreams I had in my twenties. I started practicing "smiling with my eyes" in case I needed to convey emotion without moving the rest of my face.

Day Four: The Birth of a Trend

As I tried to navigate my new existence as the person with an unmoving forehead, something strange happened. People started noticing. They weren’t horrified or concerned; they were *envious*. A coworker leaned in during a meeting and whispered, “You look... refreshed. Did you get some work done?” 

Before I could deny it, she immediately followed up with, “Where?”

I was cornered. There was no way I could admit that my fountain of youth was a $12 serum and a lack of impulse control. So, naturally, I leaned into it. “Oh, you know, just a little something,” I said with a vague wave of my hand.

Word spread like wildfire. Soon, my inbox was flooded with people asking about my “secret.” Friends, acquaintances, even that guy I met once at a party who wouldn't stop talking about crypto. Everyone wanted in on the action. I was no longer just an ordinary person with an ill-advised serum purchase; I was a *trendsetter*.

Day Seven: The Unfreezing

Exactly one week after my experiment began, the serum’s effects started to wear off. My forehead slowly returned to its regular, creased state, like an actor coming out of retirement. The magical smoothness was gone, but my ability to express emotions had mercifully returned.

I debated whether to reapply, but then I remembered how exhausting it was to explain my “Botox” to everyone. Plus, my cat stopped recognizing me when I couldn't furrow my brows at his antics.

Conclusion: The Verdict

So, did The Ordinary Botox Serum work? Yes and no. If you’re looking for a serum that will temporarily give you an ultra-smooth, expressionless face without needles, you might be in luck. But be prepared for the side effects: an inability to express surprise, and potentially starting a skincare cult among your friends.

Would I use it again? Absolutely. But next time, I’ll make sure I stock up on wide-brimmed hats and sunglasses so no one will know when my face decides to stop working.

Until then, I’ll enjoy being ordinary—wrinkles, expressions, and all.